I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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