I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
