the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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