all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
