when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
