Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It all started with a game of naked twister.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
