dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let's get the cat blown out
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
