38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We need a shit load of segways right now
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
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