The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
ok first of all what the fuck
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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