So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
