my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
