he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
