you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
