i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
