Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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