you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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