I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my being single is dangerous.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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