she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
