Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
