...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This baby is an asshole
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
