I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Still dying that you shit outside
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
