bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
