Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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