would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i now understand why vodka
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
