Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
