just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
