I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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