I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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