I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
its liver damage thursday
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