i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
