My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
