New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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