the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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