just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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