How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
