Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
