he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
