If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
