i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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