he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Green mimosas i think yes
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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