i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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