The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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