you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
