Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
