come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
