it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize