Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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