I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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