I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
