Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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