We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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