So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
