Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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