I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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