Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
