so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
