i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
