just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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