His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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