to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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