but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
