my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
