Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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