How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
