When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
stop calling my apartment porn island.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
And then he peed in my hair
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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