We're like a lot better than the average bears
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
