I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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