Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
