i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
